Are Lesbians Attracted to Men?

Someone asked on Quora:
"Are lesbians attracted to men?"

Some of the other answers:

I think there's more nuance.
Here are my thoughts (as a queer nonbinary femme/lesbian):

Lesbians are not primarily attracted to men, but they certainly can be.

There are many reasons, but the reason I want to focus on right now is this: We cannot determine another person’s gender solely based on our interpretation of how they look. This is where the argument should end, really.

A lesbian may see and be attracted to a person they assume is a woman, but the other person may not be a woman. This actually happens all the time. It has happened with me, and it has happened with many of my friends. I know tons of lesbians who have dated trans guys (and nonbinary and genderqueer folks, who are also not women; I mention nonbinary folks here, because many of the answers to this question are oversimplifying the “lesbian” definition and insisting it means sole attraction to women, period). For what it’s worth, I also know lesbians who have been attracted to or been with cis guys. The possibility always exists. In case anyone reading this tries to protest and make excuses or caveats for gender presentation/expression, just hold your breath. Yes, it still “counts” if the man has a stereotypically feminine expression. Yes, it still counts if the lesbian in question reads the man as a woman. Assuming gender is always a dubious risk; one should never be confident of their uninformed (by the person) assessment.

Finally, labels are self-determined approximations of identity. The details of my definition and reality of “lesbian” may not coincide exactly with yours. And that’s A-okay.

Let me know your thoughts!

Stream this short film

Last year, I worked on a very special project, a short film called Vámonos. I don't like to score films very often, but as soon as I saw the rough cut of this in a screening, I fell in love. I even shed a tear (and I don't shed tears even during Pixar movies). I was so enthralled that I was too nervous to speak with the director, because the other composers in the room all wanted to speak with him as well. I escaped the screening and took my awkward self to the bathroom to hide, figuring there was no way I'd get to work on it. 

I hate falling in love with things, because that means admitting I want and care, AKA setting myself up for disappointment. But I couldn't deny it; this film was both beautiful and important.

Not only does Vámonos center the stories of queer, Latinx young people, but the cast & crew is also comprised of LGBTIQ people of color. I wish more media and entertainment were like this.

To cut a long story short, I ended up having the honor of scoring the film. My dear friend and duo partner, Sean Hayward, played the guitar on it. The film made a successful debut on the festival circuit, and I'm very pleased to finally share that Vámonos is now available for free streaming on PBS Indies! So if you have 12 minutes to spare...

Click here to stream the film.


TRIVIA: Moira was recently the cinematographer for the new Tegan and Sara music video, and Marvin is the creator & director of the upcoming America Ferrera web series Gente-fied, which some of the Vámonos cast is also a part of! Rad people.



Note: This post originally appeared on Patreon.